• April 18 ,2017

LETTER TO MY 12 YEAR OLD SELF

Dear Kritika,

 

I know you're a mess right now. I know you get bullied, made fun of and that you're constantly trying to fit in. Puberty hit you hard and you lost yourself. You were a happy kid a year ago,  but just then your best friend decided to ditch you suddenly. Now, you're all alone but I promise there will be a lot of people loving you. 

 

Right now, all you do is cry when you come back home, hiding away from your family so that they don't get sad, you grew up fast girl! One thing I want to say to you right now is stop trying to be perfect, stop making everyone happy.

 

I know you think you're dumb in front of everyone when you can't raise your hand to answer the question in class only because you're nervous but let me tell you little girls will look up to you one day and would want to be like you. 

 

Little me, you're going through a really rough patch but your 14 and 15 will be better and then one day, you're gonna meet a douchebag who will make you fall in love with him.  After years of chasing around, you and you would finally give up and experience your first true love. But only to realize he's a jerk, he will leave you mid way and you would be left with nothing because all you did was build a future around him. 

Suddenly, your world will be devastated. But, let me tell you that's gonna be the best thing that would've happened to you because you're gonna

engross yourself in work and would try to do your best to be the best. 

 

 

Leave architecture that's not your thing, you're meant to be in fashion industry. But, after completing three years with flying colors in fashion design and a degree you'll realize you don't love stitching at all and maybe you're not meant for it. 

You would spend nights watching YouTube videos and then one day, you'll have the courage to start your own blog and that would be the start of everything good in your life. 

 

You're gonna travel to places, work with brands that you only dreamt about and your life will be a dream come true. 

 

You're going to be so busy that sometimes you'll forget what life is at times. Sometimes, you have to even attend the parties and events that you don't want to but you'll still do with a fake smile while hiding your insecurities. 

 

Sometime, at big shoots with brands you'll feel like dying because nothing fits you and you'll get embarrassed in front of big people and they'll secretly make fun about your weight but you tough girl! - you don't have to give up. You'll cry throughout while pretending everything is fine and then, you'll come back to your family and your loving bf who will still love you with those big thighs and love handles. 

You're gonna skip meals, vomit and do diets to loose weight at the expense of your health which at the end will make you even more anxious and you'll end up eating a full cake alone at night. 

 

You don't even know what a pure soul you're because you won't treat anyone badly. From a waiter to a beggar, to a taxi driver you'll love and respect everyone equally because you know the value of being loved unconditionally without any labels. 

You'll have everything you want and some days you'll still feel bad but that's just the part of life. Don't overthink it.

People will befriend you only because they want something from you and then will leave you but the true ones will still stay. 

 

You'll raise the confidence of other girls because you know how it feels to be compared to someone else. Before all that, you're gonna come across a silly person who you thought that you would never ever fall in love with. He will be your best friend, he will bring you up and trust me let him in because he's gonna stay forever no matter how far you push him away. He's going to make you who you're one day and wouldn't demand anything but your love. You both will live your dreams, have a successful business and will travel the world(that's what you always wanted) 

 

You'll stay at five star hotels, will decide to skip buffets because you think you'll get fat but you'll give in. (You know how much you love food). You'll travel in business class for the first time and you'll be freaked out but only for a second. You'll be in awe of everything because girl you'll have everything!

 

You will sometimes pinch yourself and will think it's a dream but it's your life now. You'll still fall and get up but everything will still be fine because now; you know what you want from your life, well almost! 

 

If you feel alone at times, talk to your mom she'll do anything to keep you happy, trust me she's gonna be your biggest supporter. 

And one day your hard work will pay off and what you wanted from life, you'll get it. You'll be happy to see yourself in newspapers and your dad will proudly show it off. That's what you wanted always(to make your parents proud) 

 

.... All because you believed in god, yes he's your only true friend and the nights you spend talking to him, don't leave that habit - he's always listening. 

 

Everything is going to come true. Your dreams will become reality, just don't give up and please please don't ever doubt yourself. You'll be so happy after some years to see and meet people who look up to you, sometimes when they'll meet up you'll cry with them, the amount of love you're gonna get will overshadow everything that you ever faced. You'll have to pinch yourself daily because you're gonna be living your dream darling. 

 

Just hold on tight!!

 

 

 

 

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